RELATIONSHIP FRIDAYS!!!

Okay yall, It’s common knowledge that during sex, things may not always go as planned. We’ve all had moments that have either made us cringe or bust out in laughter. Be prepared when sexual mishaps occur; read up on five common Ooops moments and how to recover from them.

Ooops #1: You let one out as you climax. How to react: If you’re riding your stud, almost to completion, and you let out flatulence, there is something you can do that doesn’t include you hoping the bed would swallow you whole. If it happens once, don’t act like it didn’t happen. Apologize and, if possible, crack a joke about how you didn’t think proper gas etiquette was extended to the bedroom. If your partner is a decent person, you both can easily laugh it off; flatulence is a normal bodily function, after all. For some, however, it can be a frequent occurrence due to medical conditions that cause excessive gas. Keep in mind that flatulence is also very common during anal sex: once your partner pulls out, air needs to be expelled. So be prepared with some music playing and a few scented candles nearby. lol!!!!

Ooops #2: You hurt him. How to react: Things can get rough in the bedroom, so hard slaps, nail marks, bite marks and hair pulling can be common and the way I like it but I digress; However, if you accidentally elbow your partner in the gut, mouth or the eye, that’ll hurt a lot more, especially since it came unexpectedly. Admittedly, there’s nothing you can do to cover up, save for telling them you were so enthralled by them and their performance that you had no control over your body. I suggest you apologize profusely, have a good laugh over it—c’mon, it’s pretty funny...shit!!! and once your mortification subsides - then suggestively offer to help with the healing.

Ooops#3: You don’t orgasm. How to react: To fake or not to fake? That is the eternal question, right. It seems that some partners are none the wiser a good portion of the time, while some can be perceptive and get hurt. However, faking will be of little benefit to you, as your partner will not know and continue to “please” you the best they knows how. Instead of masking your non-existent orgasm, just teach them the surefire way to get you revved-up. And if you yourself don’t know, it’s time you did a little self-discovery....so explore!!!

Ooops#4: You call out another guy’s/gals name. How to react: This is a trickier one. You certainly wouldn’t like it if a partner called out another name during sex! But if you let a name other than theirs slip out of your mouth while in ecstasy, think fast: if you accidentally called out “Brad”, for example, you can tell him that you meant Brad Pitt. It’ll be less of an issue if it’s a celebrity, and you can playfully suggest that he can call you “Angelina” next time. However, if Brad is the name of your ex-boyfriend, well, your up shits creek and that may take a bit longer to fix, I suggest Loud Music!!!!!!

Ooops#5: You spit rather than swallow. How to react: Every woman falls into either the spit or swallow camps, and either one is fine. Just be sure, however, to tell your partner which side you’re on beforehand. There’s nothing worse for a guy/ girl than seeing the look of distaste on your face as you try to let it go down or, worse, spitting it out in disgust. If you’re a spitter, have a tissue or cup nearby; or just request your guy/girl not ejaculate/cum in your mouth. Communicating your preference from the get-go will minimize embarrassment and slaps across the face situations later on.

BIG THANGS

YES, YES, YES, LADIES I HAVE WENT FALL ACCESSORY SHOPPING AND HERE ARE A COUPLE OF PIECES I PICKED UP...ITS ALL ABOUT GAUDY JEWELRY TO BE PAIRED WITH A SIMPLE PONYTAIL OR A SIMPLE CUT LET THE JEWELRY BE THE STATEMENT...THESE ARE SURE TO SET OFF ANY OUTFIT THIS SEASON

LADY GODIVA IS BACK?

THIS FALL HOLDS ALL THE KEYS TO BEING ORIGINAL, THIS NEW SEASON IS ALL ABOUT MAUDE INSPIRED CLOTHES. ALL OVER THE PIECES ARE MORE & MORE TAILORED. YOU WILL START TO SEE FALL FASHIONS WITH BELL SLEEVES, SHORT HEM LINES, COW NECKS, LOUD COLORS AND YES STRETCH CORDUROY!!!

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT THESE FASHIONS WOULD REAPPEAR?...SO GO HIT UP YOUR MOMS CLOSET OR WHATEVER TRENDY STORES YOU SHOP AT TO EMULATE THIS SEASON MUST HAVE LOOK!!!

MAUDE IS FOREVER!!!!

THE BOSS

Businesses You Can Start for Under $100
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With these business ideas you can supplement your family's income and gain independence without having to commit to a huge financial investment.

Avon Independent Sales Representative
For a sign up fee of $10, you can become an Avon Independent Sales Representative (AISR). AISR's not only sell products from brochures, but also sell via their online store if they also decide to become eRepresentatives. This is one way that Avon has expanded its reach, and evolved as a modern company. The cost to operate and manage your online store is only $7.50 per month, however, the monthly fee is waived if one person a month buys from your online store.
Since the sign up fee to become an Avon Independent Sales Representative is only $10, you should spend a few dollars on business tools. Avon brochures are only a few cents each. You can order a package of 100 brochures for only $20. It is also a good idea to spend $10 to $20 on business cards. You can even purchase car door maganets or window decals, and become a rolling billboard for your new Avon business.

For more info http;//www.youravon.com/tjojnsonwhite

DUNK IN A HOLE

RESHAPING PANTY This garment gives excellent support to the gluteus which helps to maintain its shape and size perfectly round. It serves to augment, reduce or even out the gluteus. It also prevents the accumulation of fat between the thighs. Designed with elastic bands that hold the buttocks, re-firm the tissues and thrusts them up.

OKAY WAIT, HOLD UP, AND JUST HALT!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE THIS THING OFF...AND YOUR ASS FALLS TO THE GROUND, THIS HAS GOT TO BE A CONTRAPTION OF YOUR VAGINA, HOW IS THAT GONNA BE AFTER BEING HELD HOSTAGE ALL DAMN DAY. AND LETS NOT EVEN DICUSS URINATION....I DONT KNOW ABOUT THIS PRODUCT LADIES, I'LL HAVE SOMEONE TRY IT AND GET BACK WITH PICS,,,LOL!!!

LAMB OF MINE!!!!!

OMG, I'M SOOO SUPER EXCITED & THRILLED TO ANNOUNCE THAT L.A.M.B. 2010 HAS MADE THEIR DAY VIEW AT FASHION WEEK AND I'M AMPED.

I CANT WAIT TO SLIDE MY TINY FEET INTO THE FUNKY, SLEEK, ULTRA HIGH SHOES THAT WILL MAKE ME FRANTIC TALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS A FASHION MUST HAVE IN EVERY WAY.

KUDOS GWEN, CLEARLY YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN....

RELATIONSHIP FRIDAYS!!!

Pillow Princess ;
A person, usually in a of a homosexual/bisexual context, who wants to experience pleasure from oral sex, but who is unwilling to reciprocate.

This is not a good sexual behavior practice, for anyone. Although in some relationships this is forced upon the other partner. I don't understand that act in some modern relationships, That is an act, I'm sure not to follow. And those king of situations how does the other partner get pleasure ? Well to me I think its down right selfish and if I might add rude...its like being invited to a party and arriving empty handed, just bad manners. At times like this different position's should be tried, One that pops into mind is the 69 position (Sixty-nine or 69, also known by its French name soixante-neuf (sixty-nine), is a group of sex positions in which two people align themselves so that each person's mouth is near the other's genitals, simultaneously performing oral sex. The participants are thus mutually inverted like the numerals 6 and 9, hence the name. This position can involve any combination of sexes) This position done right can be pleasurable for both partners...So I advise to go home, stretch, get limber in a hot bath, message one another in oils and slowly work yourself into the position then BON APPETITE'

HAPPY EATING!!!!

BAND IT !!!!

APPARENTLY THE ROARING 20's ARE BACK, AND IN EFFORT TO KEEP THIS LOOK GOING STORES EVERYWHERE ARE COMPETING WITH THIS FASHION TREND, I SAY ALL OF THAT TO SAY THEY ARE VERY EASY TO FIND AND EVEN EASIER TO MAKE BUT EVERYONE DOES NOT HAVE TALENT OR FASHION SENSE TO DO THAT. BUT I'M MORE CONCERNED WITH THE HAIR STYLES THAT WOMAN HAVE BEEN WEARING THIS NEW FASHION SAVVY TREND WITH,,,, I HAVE SEEN A WOMAN WITH THAT PEACOCK HAIR DOO WITH ONE OF THESE HEADBANDS ON...SO I FEEL IT IS MY DUTY TO INPUT MY OPINION. FIRST OFF THE PEACOCK HAIR DOO IS DEAD PLEASE SHOOT THAT DAMN THING DOWN, NOW THAT THAT IS SAID THIS LOOK SHOULD BE WORN WITH SUBTLE HAIR ...FRANKLY I DON'T EVEN LIKE IT WITH BANGS BUT IF YOU HAVE A KLINGON FOREHEAD YOUR EXCUSED, BUT REALLY THE SIMPLER THE HAIRSTYLE THE BETTER THE HEADBAND LOOKS.

HAPPY 20'S!!!!!!

WRAP ME UP !!!

No matter what the time of year, a scarf can be an excellent accessory for any outfit. Whether you choose to wear a scarf for warmth or decoration, it is sure to add intensity to your ensemble. Follow the following steps to wear a scarf for maximum fun and style there simply fabulous.

*Choose a scarf that coordinates with your outfit.
*Coordinating a scarf is more of an art than a science.
*You do not have to match or use the same color, but you want to choose a scarf that complements the outfit.
*Choose a coordinating color or a simple pattern in the same color.
*Should you wish to make a bolder statement, choose a bright swath of color that is on the opposite side of the color wheel from the primary color of your outfit.
*The simplest way to add spice to your wardrobe using a scarf is to tie a simple knot.
*Wrap the scarf once around your neck and tie a knot either close to your neck for a spicy look or loose around your neck like a necklace for a more conservative look.
*Wrap the scarf for warmth.
*If keeping your neck warm is the reason for donning a scarf, you should be sure that the scarf you choose is at least 4' - 6' in length.
*Secure the scarf warmly around your neck with a simple technique.
*Fold the scarf in half, then wrap it around your neck.
*Pull the loose ends through the loop created by the fold on the other end.
*Pull as snuggly against your neck as feels comfortable.
*Experiment with decorative looks and fits.
*Practice with your scarf to create a variety of different looks.
*Scarves that are thick-knit work best with a simple fold or wrap around the neck.
*Scarves made of silk, pashmina or other fine material work great with a variety of looks.
*Consider a simple knot at the throat or a wrap around the shoulders held together with a lapel pin....



HAPPY WRAPPING!!!

SADDLE UP !!!!

LADIES, ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR...FALL TIME TO GET OUT THE BOOTS AND GETTY UP, FASHION HAS IT THAT EVEN FLAT RIDING BOOTS HAVE MADE A COME BACK THIS FALL. WITH THAT BEING SAID ITS TIME TO KNOCK THE DUST OFF THOSE BOOTS OR RUN TO YOUR NEAREST SHOE SUPPLIER AND GET READY TO RIDE...NOW IF I CAN ONLY REMEMBER WHERE I PUT THAT RIDING CROP AT...LOL!!!

HAPPY RIDING!!

MAC THAT !!!

As if the Angus Burger bombs, KFC’s Double Down Chicken Sandwich, and Hardee’s Fried Chicken Biscuit Sandwich weren’t enough to empower anyone to lose all hope in fast-food resterants McDonald’s adds insult to injury with this disastrous sandwich.While the name “snack wrap” makes you think this is just a harmless little snack-sized sandwich that you might munch on as a small afternoon pick-me-up, think again. This is a burrito, folks. It’s name, “Big Mac Snack Wrap,” is just a sneaky marketing maneuver to get you to think that what you are eating is akin to a half of a turkey sandwich a few crackers and cheese. And even if you’re watching your carbs, don’t be fooled by this seemingly lower carb version of a nutritional nightmare: White flour is white flour and a Big Mac is a Big Mac.
As its name does imply, the Big Mac Snack Wrap is a Big Mac with all of the signature fixings – sliced burger patty, special sauce, lettuce, onions, cheese, pickle but no sesame seed bun. The sandwich was test-marketed in Canada and has slowly made its way across the border to the U.S to us although I hear its delish...people it is waht it is with all the same calories ad the original Big Mac...sorry!!!

RELATIONSHIP FRIDAYS!!!!

The battle of the sexes heats up in Columbia Pictures' comedy 'The Ugly Truth.' Abby Richter (Katherine Heigl) is a romantically challenged morning show producer whose search for Mr. Perfect has left her hopelessly single. She's in for a rude awakening when her bosses team her with Mike Chadway (Gerard Butler), a hardcore TV personality who promises to spill the ugly truth on what makes men and women tick.

OKAY SO I WENT AND SEEN THIS MOVIE OVER THE WEEKEND AND NOT ONLY WAS IT GOOD...IT WAS EYE OPENING!!!! AS TO HOW WOMEN THINK WITH THE HEART AND HEAD WHEN MEN AND WOMEN WHO THINK LIKE MEN DO NOT. FOR THE WOMAN EVERYTHING IS A EMOTION FELT DEEPLY, AS WELL AS CAREFULLY THOUGHT OUT. BUT FOR OUR COMPANIONS, IT'S JUST NOT THAT COMPLICATED...THEY ARE REALLY SIMPLE (FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD) IN THINKING. NO REGRETS,NO EMOTION, JUST LOINS & TESTOSTERONE WITH HIDDEN MORALS OF THEIR NAGGING MOTHERS. SO NOW, I SEE HOW MANY OF MY PROBLEMS IN MY OWN MARRIAGE OCCUR, I SIMPLY DON'T KNOW WHEN TO "SHUT THE FUCK UP" I'M JUST AS NAGGING AS THE MOTHER THEY GOT AWAY FROM...AND LADIES NO ONE WANTS TO FUCK "MEAN MOMMY" (MIRANDA OF SATC)

SO I TRIED SOMETHING NEW AND TO MY SURPRISE IT WORKED & I'M LESS STRESSED OUT, SO HERE IT IS;

1: LET THEM MAKE THEIR OWN MISTAKES (ie: NO NAPKIN WHILE EATING RIBS) *IT WAS HARD!!

2: NO COMMENTS OR EYE ROLLING WHEN THEY FORGETS THINGS (ie: CELL PHONE)

3: LET THEM MAKE CHOICES (STROKE THEIR EGO) EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW THE OUTCOME (ie: I WANT A EXTRA FIRM MATTRESS...OUCH THIS IS TOO HARD)

4:ENJOY THEIR PROGRESS AND WORK ON YOU BECOMING LESS NAGGING (ie: NO DO THIS, NO NOT LIKE THAT STUPID) VERY BAD!!!

5: LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY MEANS FLAWS & ALL , AND FOR THAT YOUR HEART SHOULD SMILE (ie: YOU ARE NOT THE EASIEST TO GET ALONG WITH EITHER...ESPECIALLY IN THE MORNING!)

SO GO OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE (PREFERABLY BY YOURSELF OR WITH GIRLFRIENDS) AND COME HOME AND LOVE YOUR MATE THE WAY YOUR SUPPOSE TO!!!

HAPPY "UGLY TRUTHS"!!!!

EYES FALL FOR FALL EYES!!!!

AS THIS NEW FALL SEASON APPROACHES FAST, WE (US DIVA'S) HAVE TO BE UP ON THE "NEW" EVERYTHING!!!

WELL WHILE GETTING MY PEDI, I WAS THUMBING THROUGH A HARPER'S BAZAAR MAGAZINE FOR FALL LOOKS WHEN I NOTICED THAT PAIRED WITH THE FALL CROPPED BANGS & FEATURED LONG HAIR WAS BOLD EYES WITH COLORS OF MAROON MADNESS, LIME CRAZE, ORANGE BURST, DEEP PLUM, AND SHADY RED(MY FAV)...NOW LADIES APPROACH THIS SITUATION RIGHT, LETS NOT LOOK LIKE DRAG QUEENS...THAT'S SOOO LAST SEASON...LOL ANY WHO TRY ON THESE COLORS AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PAINT & BEAT THE FACE ASK FOR ASSISTANCE FROM ONE OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS OR YOUR NEAREST MAKE -UP COUNTER!!!!

HAPPY FALL EYES!!!!!

ABOUT THE BOOK OF THE MONTH!!!

CAN I JUST, SAY BRAVO!!! (HANDS CLAPPING) FOR MY LONGTIME FRIEND DELVON, HIS BOOK IS A HIT!!!! FABULOUS, OVER THE TOP, REAL CHARACTERS ALL INTERTWINED INTO A BALL OF DRAMA, LOVE, LUST, AND HATE WITH ENOUGH FASHION FOR A VOGUE MAGAZINE. THE WAY HE PLACED HIS WORDS TAKES YOU TO THE PLACES & TIMES SET IN THIS MASTERPIECE...AND IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN TO THESE PLACES; EVEN BETTER TO IDENTIFY!!!!! I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK AS SEPTEMBER BOOK OF THE MONTH FOR ALL IT'S FABULOUSNESS!!!!!!!

KUDOS DELVON!!!!

Biography
Delvon Johnson was born and raised in Newark, NJ. As an only child, he found ways to keep busy and innovative. In school, his favorite subject was always English. He always enjoyed writing. At a very young age, he started to write his own poetry and even songs. As a teenager, he was accepted to Newark School of Fine and Industrial Arts, better known as Arts high. His dream was to become a recording artist. After years of training and performances, Delvon gave up on his dream of becoming a recording artist, and settled into corporate America.
He knew that corporate America wasn't enough. He wanted more. After years of reading books by his favorite authors, who include E. Lynn Harris, Eric Jerome Dickey, and Terry McMillan, he set out on a journey to complete his first novel. In July, 2008, he had finally achieved it.

It's entitled, Love Yourself First.Love Yourself First is a romantic novel about life and the decisions people make in their journeys through it. It will make you laugh, cry, and understand certain aspects of life while keeping you totally entertained at the same time.

Review

Source: APOO Book Club Date: 03/28/09

Love Yourself First by Delvon Johnson is a comedic look into the fashion industry and the divas who fight to make it to the top. We are introduced to some pretty interesting characters, ranging from the down- low brothers to the eccentric divas. Meet the queens of fashion, Dwight and Issiah, best friends, who set out to start their own design business. With just the right touch, and all the right contacts their business takes off, and quickly. Looking forward to adding some additional flair to their showroom, they meet and fall in love with Joan Murphy, a shoe connoisseur. Joan is in a steady relationship but her other half has ulterior motives that will cause Joan's world to spin out-of- control. With a steady flow and upbeat tempo, Love Yourself First was a fast read that I thoroughly enjoyed. I was well entertained as I waited for the walls to come crumbling down on the fiasco that Joan was trying to drum up, as well as the gorgeous men who seemed to continuously jump out of the closet and claim they were not on the down-low but just experimenting. Love Yourself First was very interesting and kept me wanting more. With descriptive scenes from some of New York's hottest hang-out spots; I felt like I was one of the paparazzi waiting to take that winning shot. I enjoyed the story but found that there were some editing issues, that if corrected could make the story flow much smoother. I recommend this book to readers of all genres, and look forward to reading what Mr. Johnson has next.

WALGREENS CAN STIMULATES YOUR WALLS!!!

OKAY MY TRIPS TO WALGREEN'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ARE LOOKING UP...LOL, WHEN I CANT SLEEP IT USUALLY HELPS TO GET IN THE CAR AND GO TO WALGREEN'S AND PICK UP A NEW NAIL POLISH, SOME TEETH CLEANING STRIPS, HELL SOMETIMES JUST SOME JEN & JERRY'S (MY SECRET SSSHHHUSS) BUT NOW THIS!!!!

WHO IN THE HELL DO WALGREEN'S THINK THEY FOOLING WITH THESE "PERSONAL MASSAGER'S" WITH WOMEN POSTED IN THE POSITION AS IF AWAITING A MASSAGE...PLEASE, WHO'S BACK IS THAT SMALL, WHO BACK IS THAT GONNA FIT ON!!! . NOT TO MENTION THE SLEEK, CURVED NECK AND SMOOTH TONGUE LIKE HEAD, THIS IS CLEARLY MEANT FOR CLITORIS STIMULATION!!! I'M SORRY BUT THAT JUST HAD TO BE SAID, PLEASE REVERT TO THE ONE WITH THE INTERCHANGEABLE HEADS AND SIX SPEEDS (DON'T ASK HOW I KNOW THE # OF SPEEDS) YEAH SURE THAT'S FOR MY BACK; THIS ITEM IS INTENDED FOR RELEASE FROM BEING BACKED UP MAYBE, BUT I'M SORRY WALGREEN'S I REFUSE TO THINK THIS IS FOR MY BACK!!!!! OH AND F.Y.I. IF YOU HAVE THE ELECTRONICS COUPON YOU GET 20% OFF ( DON'T JUDGE ME ....I'M PRODUCT TESTING) LOL !!

HAPPY (BACK) UP PLAN!!!

THE DAILY SHOE FIX

TRAFFIC STOPPING